Dealing with Jealousy

by beccar

Curated by Rebecca J. Rose, Website Editor

 

 

Jealousy in marriage can be a real relationship killer and is one of those common marriage problems that needs resolution. Feelings of jealousy can develop and escalate making you question everything your partner thinks, says and does. Unresolved and unchecked jealousy can develop into a long-term vendetta. It can be most destructive to a relationship.

As much as we would like to deny it, most people struggle with jealousy at some point in their lives and in marriage.  It is a one of the most common marriage problems that can develop from feelings of insecurity or neglect in one’s relationship.

We now live in a society where marriages are often as a result of a new relationship that is from a previous break up.  Situations like these can leave spouses insecure, especially when a previous partner is still around. More particularly, in the case when children are involved.

People can enter into marriages with so much previous baggage that it often hard to settle into a secure, trusting environment full of self worth and trust. It becomes more of an uphill battle for the couple to communicate well, and not give into jealous feelings over activities their spouse or loved one does.

No one could ever be accused of being unnecessarily jealous in the case of infidelity. Recovering from infidelity takes a lot of work, and often times professional help.  Strong measures and boundaries need to be put in place to enable the cheated party to trust their partner again and control the feeling of jealousy.

Other situations can lead to jealousy. Too much time at work can leave your partner feeling very insecure, especially when your hours at work increase and you spend less and less time at home. People get fixated on their goals and have no concept on how this is perceived or how it impacts on their relationship and their family life. Any activity that detracts from couple time can lead to jealousy – even parenting a new baby, a busy teenager, or a new past time.

The list is endless and jealousy in and of itself is not always a bad thing. It’s a strong indication that you really care. The main thing we need to remember is not to let the jealousy consume, arouse fury and become destructive.

If you are suffering from feelings of jealousy look at the cause, question your feelings and determine whether they have any foundation. Is your partner actually doing anything wrong, have they really done anything to drive your jealous emotions or have you just let your emotions spiral out of control.

Communication is the foundation to marital success. If you can learn to communicate then you can express your emotions in a non-confrontational, non-accusatory, understanding and supportive environment. We are here to help!

 

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