Emotional Infidelity and Affairs

by beccar

Curated by Rebecca. J. Rose, Website Curator.

Are you wondering about emotional infidelity, what it is and is it ok if you’re in a relationship? Well you’re not alone. Many people think about infidelity only on one level: the physical. In fact, it’s true to say that many people don’t even believe there’s such a thing as emotional infidelity. But, it exists and in many ways can be worse than a physical affair. Emotional bonds can be harder to break than physical attractions.

First, let’s define emotional infidelity. ┬áThis occurs when someone in a committed relationship/marriage forms an emotional attachment with a third person outside of the relationship. This may seem trivial to begin with but, it can escalate. You start to rely on the outside party for emotional support and a connection instead of your spouse or significant other.

So, if you’ve formed a friendship that you cannot tell your spouse/partner about then you should seriously ask yourself why? What are you needing from this relationship you are not getting from your spouse or allowing them “in” to give you? What are you choosing to turn away from?

You should not have a relationship/friendship with anyone that you cannot openly and honestly discuss with your partner. The minute your partner is shut out of any part of your life there is a potential for distance. With distance comes real potential problems to your relationship.

What you should also consider when it comes to emotional infidelity is how your partner would feel if they ever found out. Perhaps you are sharing intimate details of your life with your partner with your secret friend? How would your partner feel about that? Knowing that any problems the two of you are having are being openly discussed by you with someone outside of your relationship would be destructive to your relationship – making it very hard to heal your bond. Not only that, but having them find out it is someone who could quickly become a destructive element within your relationship could cause a rift that is hard to overcome.

Emotional infidelity might seem like a little bit of harmless fun when you first set out, but it can quickly and dangerously escalate into something that can seriously threaten your relationship. You will find that your partner will have picked up on the fact that you’re even more distant than usual and this is because you are emotionally sharing with someone else.

Once all the aforementioned happens, it can often be a short step towards a ‘full on’ physical relationship. That’s why any emotional attachment that your partner does not know about it so dangerous.

Make no mistake emotional infidelity is as dangerous as physical infidelity. Talk to someone who can help you process the feelings and needs you are experiencing. Click on our resources page for someone who cares and wants to help you.

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